Oh Shame No Riding Today!

Hi avid blog watchers.

So are you ready for your next fix of this old girls agonising journey to fitness? Then I shall begin.

So, from today's head lines I guess you have realised that I took the car to nagging sisters house with new buddy in tow, (looking gorgeous in her made up face) nagging sister is going to be so jealous> I had to wake her up with a phone call to let her know that we are coming. She is so not going to look her best, he he, ha ha,.......he he he haa haaaa. I'm sorry, got lost in the moment then.

So after me and new buddy get over the shock of seeing sleepy, naked faced, nagging sister we had a look at the new machine. New buddy stepped up on to the platform, and of course me and nagging sister couldn't resist whacking Beauty to the highest setting, just to let her feel the full affects, you understand, not at all for my or nagging sister sense of wicked humour.

So after we stopped laughing, new buddy decided that she would like to try the new machine and as she was there already, sister programed it for an 'all over' workout. It still baffles me how standing still on a vibrating platform is going to help tone and lose weight. Hard work, sweat, pounding the streets, moving! That's what is going to get you fit and toned! AT least it better be after these past two years of trying!

While new buddy was gently vibrating on the machine behind me I climbed aboard the beast! 'Now you're in for an ass kicking' I thought to myself as I programmed in 25 minutes of sheer torture, (for me and the beast). Its warm, the sun is heating up the conservatory like a sauna, so I fling open the windows and start to get into the zone. I hear new buddy behind me, making little noises as the program progress on to the next level, 'I feel a little sea sick' says new buddy, she is not enjoying nagging sisters new Alie at all. In fact after only 5 minutes into a 10 min program new buddy has to get off and sit for a while. So much for beauty doing her thing, well she wont beat me. Let me sort out beast first the whip her into shape after.

Its hard work, but new buddy is shouting encouraging words to me, like 'You're doing well, Old Girl' While nagging sister cackles from her sofa at me 'Those peddles are moving too slowly, faster Old girl' I wonder if its too late to take nagging sister to a course on 'How to make friends and Keep them' Every time the 'dots' change on the screen I push the plus button to up the level. Oh yes beast, Im pushing the button and sneering in your face! Get in there Old Girl, give the beast hell.

Well I gave it hell! I smashed previous records, which I am very pleased about, I traveled a distance of 9.0 km and ate up 195.4 calories, Take that beasty.

While I was collapsed on nagging sister sofa and being pandered to by her beautiful daughters, water and pieces of apple that I didn't even have to chew, new buddy settled her self on the exhausted beast.

When she had about 10 mins left on the beast I had recuperated enough to be able to hang on the hand rails of the beauty Nagging sister, again, programed in a 10 minute all over massage and pushed the green button.

I stood on the platform and shook like a jelly, my legs probably causing some sort of underground seismic energy force that's going to cause the conservatory to crumble, the hips going faster than those on Turkish belly dancers on a dance-off competition. But I will persevere, let the machine do all the work. I am just going to stand here and laugh at beauty as it tries to combat my fat levels, deal with my metabolic rate. For 10 minutes beauty tried its best to get me off the platform, it was vibrating at 15, 20, 27, 30 35, 37 and finally 40! This old girl stood her ground, well platform, and it finally started to come down (no not the conservatory), 30 25 15 peep peep! Stop! In your face beauty! But when I stood off the machine my legs were so itchy. I scratched away and realised that wasn't relieving the itching and my legs and hips were NUMB. Is that normal, is that right. Will I ever be able to satisfy these itchings again. But after a while, sitting down, my legs became warm and i could satisfy the itchiness. Hmm, Jury is out on the Beauty still, give me a few turns on it. Will it deliver all it has promised, we shall see.

After all, standing around doing nothing but holding on to a handrail cannot compete with working hard on the beast, jogging for miles in the cold or heat around beautiful parks, cycling, avoiding nutter drivers going through bluebell carpeted woods, dancing around to some well wicked toonz on my IPOD or glaring at well fit dudes on youtube, can it?